So, you’re wondering, “how do you keep your beard straight,” but, as of yet, to no avail, huh? If you’ve been going through the arduous process of growing out your beard, you may have come across an ‘awkward phase,’ in which you believe your beard is ducking when it should be weaving, or perhaps vice versa. We’ve all been here, wishing that our beard didn’t have that faint flock-of-seagulls look, but unable to do much of anything to alleviate this woosh or phlooph. Here are a few pieces of advice that we hope provide you with some solace from the temporary (trust us when we say that it is, indeed, temporary) bad beard day.
Now, of course, we’d recommend it even if you weren’t feeling like your beard was the only thing around you being affected by an otherwise completely phantom hurricane gale, but if you are experiencing some ‘excess waviness,’ then you may be especially suited to reap the benefits of a touch of product in your beard. Detroit Grooming Co. would already have you using a few drops of beard oil daily, but if you’re experiencing some serious unruliness, you may be best aided by a small dollop of beard butter. The slightly heavier hold and thicker consistency of the butter will do some good toward helping iron out the pleats in your beard, but the beard is a resilient beast, and some are more difficult to tame than others.
Some folks out there subscribe to more drastic approaches that we personally aren’t particularly fond of, but which we will elucidate briefly without fully endorsing. These methods can have some affect on your beard’s relative ‘straightness,’ but take some not insignificant time, expense and equipment to successfully implement. The two that seem most common (despite their obvious deviations from common sense) are the blow dryer method and the flat iron method. Both of which are rather involved processes, again, both financially and temporally, not to mention that either of which require you actually going in and purchasing one or the other of these appliances from what we can only imagine is definitely the ‘ladies aisle’ of the store. Then you’re spending 10, 15, maybe even 20 minutes of your routine trying to domesticate the beast that is your beard with some heinous man-made contraption. We (and pretty much anyone else with enough combined sense and experience) would politely advise against these methods, not least of all because of the undue heat that either device produces so near your precious whiskers.
When all is said and done, however, your beard is going to do what it’s going to do, and all it needs from you is some TLC, a few drops of oil and a thorough combing every once in a while. Arguably the most exciting part of growing out your beard is delving into the unknown and seeing what you find. Also, your beard is ever-changing, ever-evolving, and, as such, will not be the same for any great, unbearable, interminable amount of time. So, just cool your jets and let time do what it will. Chances are, as has been the case for many a beard before yours and will undoubtedly be for many a beard after, as your beard grows longer, the natural weight of the longer hairs will pull it ‘straighter’ and more ‘downward.’ The most important thing to remember is to simply embrace your beard, avoid falling victim to beard-envy and be grateful for every day that you get to enjoy your beard, because some are not as privileged as you. Love it. Own it. Wear it proudly. Thank you.